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Lucy, We're Not in Kansas Anymore
In 1978 my husband was skiing with a friend at Mt. Alyeska ski resort not far from our home in Anchorage, Alaska when he became ill. At the hospital he suffered a cardiac arrest. He wasn't able to get enough oxygen so he had brain damage. He was in a coma for two weeks.
The Yellow Brick Road to Caregiving
My name isn't Dorothy. My companion is Lucy the cat, not a dog named Toto. But I spent a good deal of my life "on the yellow brick road" searching for the Wizard of Caregiving.
My introduction to caregiving was not unlike waking to find that my house has landed in a strange land. One minute I was studying for a biochemistry exam. The next minute the phone rang. It was the hospital calling, "Your husband is in serious condition.
Come immediately."
I was traveling alone through the dark and foreign forest of medical procedures. There were hospital rules and regulations and the new routine of spending my free time at the hospital. I approached the care for my husband with the same determination that Dorothy had to return home to Kansas. I had to find the Wizard of Caregiving.
The Scarecrow
Just like the Scarecrow, I was in search of a "brain." A large part of being a caregiver is about being informed. I wanted to be the best caregiver. I wanted to have the most information about the disease. I must know all of the treatments. I wanted to understand and have access to the best medical services. I was looking for the best medications. What were the proper treatments, exercises, or therapies? Anything to make my husband better.
At times the need for more information was all consuming. I was dedicated to making sure that my husband was getting the proper care. I was on a search to increase my knowledge and develop a "caregiver brain." The answer to the illness was in a cure that I had yet to discover, or a new procedure, or some new treatment.
Keeping informed and understanding what options are available has continued to be a major endeavor for me. I consider the need for accurate and up-to-date resources to be one of the best assets that a caregiver can have. I am always working on ways to increase my "caregiver brain."
The Tin Man
I have longed for the time before my husband was ill. He remains the love of my life, but now there is a difference. I see more of the ravages of the disease and less of the man that I married when I am with him. At times I misplace my heart and I become mechanical and task-oriented. I have had so much of my feelings chopped off by the disease.
I now realize that I am blessed. I don't stay for very long in that place without feelings of joy. I have always been able to find moments when I can joke with my husband. We can share a look that provides the oil to lubricate my joints and remind me that I have a heart. My salvation and energy are drawn from my heart. I have learned that if I speak from my heart then I can overcome all circumstances.
Just like the Tin Man, I value having a heart. It is my heart that allows me to stop looking backward at what was, and gives me the ability to look forward to what can be.
The Lion
In The Wizard of Oz, the lion said that he was looking for courage. What he really needed was to have faith in himself. Faith that everything would be okay. Faith can be found in the beauty of nature. It is visible in the ongoing miracles of daily life. Feel it grow through the love of friends and family. I continue in strength with caregiving because it has become a joy. Following the Yellow Brick Road to Caregiving had given me the determination to share the joys of caregiving with other caregivers.
My situation is not different from other caregivers and it is this realization that I want to share. I spent a good deal of my early caregiving years feeling that I had to be ashamed of my husband's illness and that I was alone. Now that I have developed my courage and strength, I realize that there doesn't need to be any shame or isolation when you are a caregiver. I want to shine a loving and warm light on caregiving so that others will know the joy. So others will realize that there is hope.
The Wizard
Wizard is common sense, magic, and wonders. Look how simple events in my life have been catalysts for dramatic and unforeseen changes. Change is not devastating. Change provides the catalyst to a rich life filled with rewards and gifts.
Meeting the Wizard of Caregiving has given me the greatest gifts of my life. The Wizard is really a lonely man. He is afraid to let others know how small he really is. Recognize that caregiving is just doing what you can from your heart, with courage and brains.
I cherish the moments. I have joy of knowing that what I am doing makes a big difference in the life of my husband. It is truly magic. Magic like the feats of the Wizard of Oz. I see the positive outcome to life events. I live in joy with anticipation of learning and increasing my knowledge.
Glinda the Good
Witch
Dorothy found out from Glinda the Good Witch that she always had the magic to return home. It was in the slippers. So I have learned to be a great caregiver. It is in practicing great self care.
There's No Place like Home
My husband had a major stroke in 1998. Once again it was time to adapt my life. I took on a greater role as caregiver. There is nothing like a major change to open up doors to possibility. I had the opportunity to evaluate what was working with my life. I rediscovered my inner strength. I realized the magic of self care.
Where Are Your Magic Slippers?
Explore the CareSsentials website to discover your own magic slippers...
- Enroll in a Teleclass to balance caregiving with your life goals. Participate in elearning so that you can be your best.
- Let's Talk Contact me for a complimentary 30-minute session and develop your inner power.
- Join Caregiver Connection© and talk with other Caregivers where you will discover you are not alone. Join a weekly teleconference call and share your tips, tricks, and receive support.
- Review an extensive list of Caregiver Resources and get the best information on care and caregiving.
- Sign up for my free monthly newsletter, Caregiver Tips© and develop your caregiving tips and tricks.
You don't have to do it alone. I've been there!
Jo Cavanaugh
(hear Jo on the radio)
(read about Jo in the news)
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