AARP Caregiving Facts
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Words of Encouragement
Asking For Help
By Ada Porat
Asking for help is not something we do naturally. We often find it painfully difficult to do because it makes us feel vulnerable, weak or ashamed; and so our fears of rejection and embarrassment get in the way.
In reality, the only real weakness is NOT asking for help. The smartest people I know understand that they do not know everything, and seek to fill those gaps in their knowledge or ability with people who do.
Life is about learning and growth – and in the process, we all need help from time to time along the tricky patches. Beyond each challenge awaits an opportunity for growth; and by asking for help when we need it, we discover solutions, gain new insights, and ultimately empower ourselves.
Why It Is Smart To Ask For Help
If you reach out and ask, you will find that help does arrive and your needs are met, often exceeding your highest hopes! Just take a look at some of the reasons why it is smart to ask for help when you feel stuck:
• The help you need is more likely to arrive if you ask for it! Keeping your problems under wraps does nothing to resolve them, so why not do something positive about it?
• Asking for help lets you manage your energy more effectively. Life balance is all about managing your energy. When you ask for help with a difficulty, it frees up more energy for other areas of your life.
• It opens opportunities to connect to others in new ways. Asking for help makes others aware of how they can support us and strengthens interpersonal ties.
• When we ask for help, we open the door to learning. By opening up to input from others, we expand our own growth and awareness.
• By breaking through fear and facing the challenge of asking, we reclaim our power! Our greatest gifts lie just beyond the things we fear the most – so ask for help even when you fear the repercussions and you will reclaim your power!
How To Ask For Help
Another important aspect of finding help lies in knowing how to ask for it. Here are a few tips to keep in mind the next time you need help:
• Ask for help as soon as you realize you need it. Ignored problems often escalate and become huge issues that drain energy and resources.
• Recognize that everyone (including you!) deserves a helping hand, for it is in supporting one another that we all benefit and grow.
• Accept that you have nothing to lose except your fear. If the person you approach can help, you’ll learn from the experience. If they turn you down, you can approach another.
• Go to someone you trust. If they don’t have the answer, they’ll likely know someone who does.
• Be clear on what you need. The proven words are, “I need your help.” Simple and to the point!
• Give the person as much detail as possible. Even if you don’t understand what the exact problem is, document what you know about the circumstances as well as what you need.
• Get a commitment. Ask if they are able to support you and in what capacity. Getting a commitment will set your mind at ease and alleviate a lot of stress. Even if they cannot help you themselves, they may offer valuable suggestions or refer you to someone who can help. Either way, you’ll benefit!
• When you find the solution to your problem, document it for future reference. You might run into that problem again someday when no-one is around to help, or you might pass along the information to someone else in need.
Next time you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, ask for the help you need and deserve. Ask despite your fears and with a focus on the rewards. Doing so can provide you with much more than just the help you needed.
Copyright 2006 Ada Porat
Ada Porat facilitates personal development through the integration of body, mind and spirit. She enjoys international recognition as an inspirational speaker, teacher, author and practitioner at the leading edge of personal growth and well-being. To sign up for Ada's inspirational monthly newsletter, visit http://www.AdaPorat.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ada_Porat
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Book Award
Christine, a caregiver from Winter Park, Florida, will be sent Ask and You Will Succeed, 1001 Ordinary Questions to Create Extraordinary Results, by Ken D. Foster.
Enjoy the read.
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Reminders
Don't forget that March is:
National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month
Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation
1600 Duke Street, Suite 500
Alexandria, VA 22314
(800) 227-2732
(877) 35-COLON
(703) 836-4413
Enica.Lewis@preventcancer.org
www.preventcancer.org/colorectal
National Eye Donor Month
Eye Bank Association of America
1015 18th Street, NW, Suite 1010
Washington, DC 20036
(202) 775-4999
info@restoresight.org
www.restoresight.org
National Kidney Month
National Kidney Foundation
30 East 33rd Street, Suite 1100
New York, NY 10016
(800) 622-9010
(212) 889-2310 Fax
info@kidney.org
www.kidney.org
National Nutrition Month 2005
American Dietetic Association
120 South Riverside Plaza, Suite 2000
Chicago, IL 60606-6995
(800) 877-1600 x4771
nnm@eatright.org
www.eatright.org/Public/NutritionInformation/92_11422.cfm
Workplace Eye Health and Safety Month
Prevent Blindness America
500 East Remington Road
Schaumburg, IL 60173-5611
(800) 331-2020
info@preventblindness.org
www.preventblindness.org
Save Your Vision Month
American Optometric Association
243 North Lindbergh Boulevard
St. Louis, MO 63141
(314) 991-4100
(314) 991-4101 Fax
slthomas@aoa.org
www.aoa.org
National Multiple Sclerosis Education and Awareness Month
Multiple Sclerosis Foundation
6350 North Andrews Avenue
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33309
(800) 225-6495
toni@ms.focus.org
www.msfocus.org/programs_events/prog_edumth.html
National Brain Injury Awareness Month
Brain Injury Association of America
105 North Alfred Street
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 761-0750
publicrelations@biausa.org
www.biausa.org
Don't miss the April 2006 issue of "Caregiver Tips" with tips and information
on "Your Compass - Point One - Physical."
iBALANCE? Teleclasses
Are you longing for the time before caregiving? What to find a way to get
back to your dreams and goals? Enroll in iBALANCE? a four-part teleclass
designed to help you take control of your life.
Meet once a week on the telephone and give yourself an hour to clear away the
guilt and stress of caregiving. Develop tools and tricks to become more
comfortable with caregiving. Learn life skills that will change your life for
the better.
Click this link to get more information about teleclasses:
Get More Teleclass Information Here
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Messages for Caregivers
Railroads are how wide?
RAILROADS
Does the statement, "We've always done it like that"
ring any bells? Read this to the end; you'll love it!!
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet,
8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English
expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built
the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because
that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and
England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to
match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots
were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel
spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is
derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war
chariot. And bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what
horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate
the back ends of two war horses.
Now, the twist to the story
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two
big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These
are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers
who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter,
but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch
site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in
the mountains.
The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad
track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the
world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two
thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
- And -
You thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!
Author Unknown
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So Good I Want To Share It
The Five Finger Prayer
Source Unknown
1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those
closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved
ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."
2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach,
instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They
need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep
them in your prayers.
3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders.
Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and
administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion.
They need God's guidance.
4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact
that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher will testify. It
should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain.
They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.
5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all which
is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the
Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie
should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for
the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper
perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.
If you decide to send this to a friend, you might brighten someone's
day! Pass this on to someone special... I did.
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Internet Sites 2Good2Miss
Two Documents We all Need
Do you have a Living Will and a Durable Medical Power of Attorney prepared in the event of a disability or accident so that your healthcare wishes will be known? If you are unsure about
what these documents are, then go the the AARP Information on Living Wills and find out more about these important documents.
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Thank You
I also want to thank those that have sent an email with a request for information. I enjoy hearing from you and hope that I can provide some support or help when you need it. Please continue to send me your comments and requests.
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Self Care Tip
How Unspoken Agreements Run Your Relationships
By Susan Quinn
Unspoken agreements are the agreements that we do not speak, but they play out in our lives. They are agreements that we make with ourselves, another person, or group as a way to get love, attention, or to feel safe.
From the time that Kathy married Bob, she took the back seat in their interactions by trying to please him and not focusing on her needs or her growth. His needs were the priority for both of them. He was a successful accountant who worked very hard to move up in his accounting firm. She stayed at home because that was what he wanted her to do.
He never asked her what she wanted to do. When she would praise him or do things to enhance his career and his social standing in the community, he would show satisfaction with her. For the first eight years of their marriage, her purpose in life was to get his approval. The unspoken agreement was “I’ll be lesser than you and in exchange, you will love me”.
As time want on, Kathy became stronger and more aware of her own value as a person. She realized that she wanted a career for herself and enrolled in a PHD program in psychology.
This brought about a change in their relationship causing cracks in the bridge. A relationship is a bridge. Dr. Bruce Fisher, in his book “Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends,” compares a relationship to a bridge. The relationship is the horizontal part of the bridge that connects two people who are the foundations of the bridge at either end.
This brought about a change in their relationship causing cracks in the bridge. Bruce Fisher, in his book “Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends,” compares a relationship to a bridge. The relationship is the horizontal part of the bridge that connects two people( who are the foundations of the bridge )at either end. The foundations must be strong to support the bridge. If one of the foundations shifts or changes then the bridge develops cracks. If not dealt with, these cracks will result in the breakup of the relationship.
Change is always happening as long as we are alive. If you deny, or resist these changes the relationship will either become strained and lose the good feelings which were there in the beginning, or it will break apart.
Each person must work on his/her own personal growth to have a healthier relationship with self. He/she also needs to understand the needs of the partner. Then the couple must work out which needs they want to meet separately and which ones they want to work out with their partner. This is a main reason why people end relationships and is something that CAN be worked out.
If you don’t take responsibility of meeting some of your needs, you will end up blaming your partner for your unhappiness and failing to support your partner in their pursuits. It doesn't have to end this way
The paradoxical fact of relationships is that we pair with people who express our opposite or complementary tendencies. For example, Kathy and Bob had a pattern of Giver/Taker as the way they related to each other. That worked well at first, but when Kathy shifted what she wanted, she broke the original agreement.
xical fact of relationships is that we pair with people who express our opposite or complementary tendencies. For example, Kathy and Bob had a pattern of Giver/Taker as the way they related to each other. That worked well at first, but when Kathy shifted what she wanted, she broke the original agreement.
These agreements are not spoken and certainly are not conscious, but they are fastidiously acted out in the daily life of the couple. This shift in her foundation of the bridge caused irreparable cracks in their relationship and they divorced.
It doesn’t have to end this way, although this is what we see much of the time. If both people are willing to look at what they expect and the roles they have been cast in from childhood, they can grow and incorporate new ways of being, which give them more choices in life.
This willingness to look at oneself and embrace new information can and does lead the couple to a level of intimacy that never would have been imagined at the beginning of the relationship.
Susan Quinn MFT is a psychotherapist for the past 18 years in L.A. and Life Coach. Please visit her web site at www.susanquinn.net
Susan Quinn MFT is a psychotherapist for the past 18 years in L.A. and Life Coach. Please visit her web site at www.susanquinn.net You can sign up for her newsletter "Susan Quinn's Power Therapies newsletter " to get new and useful ways to create change in your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Quinn
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Share A Tip
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Take care and plant seeds of self care this month,
Jo Cavanaugh
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